Why I’m doing this.

by sethosayher

Losing weight is only partially a physical endeavor. As my experiences increasingly demonstrate, anyone desiring to shed a few pounds must wage a significant psychological battle with oneself (and ones friends, society, etc).

So I’m creating this blog to air out my thoughts. I’m not sure if I intend to share it with the world or anything – it might as well be anonymous – but I do know I need to explore the novel and often bewildering emotions, concerns and highs I feel on the path to weight loss.

I started at around 274 pounds, at the height of 5 feet 8 inches. Neatly tucked in range of “severe obesity,” and dangerously close to “morbid” obesity. I’ve lost 20 pounds in the three weeks that followed.

I’ve been fat as long as I can remember. I mean, I have pictures of my 7 year old self that feature an impressively svelte, good looking kid, but in terms of my memory all I can recall is chronic pudginess.

I suppose I became fat around late elementary school. Figures. Just when I started getting interested in women. My weight, my religious upbringing (unwilling foisted upon me by conservative pentecostal parents) and my mild social awkwardness contributed to an astonishing history of romantic failure. Which feed into the depressive, lonely feelings that fed my overeating.

Life has gotten better since high school. College was an amazing time, despite being overweight. But I’m tired of seeing my 20s (I’m almost 23 at the writing of this entry) squandered away but the strictures imposed by being fat.

Obesity really does limit a person in countless ways. As a recent book I read (Fit2Fat2Fit) puts it, being fat prevents countless people from really thriving. As a fat person, I often didn’t have the energy to be as social, innovative, diligent as I could have been. I am a quarter of a man I want to be, and being fat is definitely partially responsible for that.

I’m going to go running now. Hopefully I’ll be updating this blog soon.